Friday, November 11, 2005

Husbands and Wives: Big Dreams on a Small Budget: Financial Tips for Newlyweds

Delena and I are not perfect financial planners, but I will say working for a Credit Union and a lot of talking has helped plenty.

Before Delena and I got married we discussed how we wanted to handle our finances. We both come from two completely opposite families when it comes to the world of finances. My family: Budget, Save, Enjoy. Delena's Family, Spend, Enjoy. That is it in a nut shell. Now both did save and have lived great lives, but finances were just handled differently. Further more Delena had lived on her own for a few years and has learned to truly value her money. When we first got married she was worried about losing her freedom of being able to spend her money.

This is how we made our plan: We decided each others money was each others money. We worked for it, it is ours. BUT! We have a lot of bills to pay and a lot of things to cover. So we decided which bills had to pay and who pay what of what. What is left is yours! Of course we have added a savings goal in there is well. This has worked pretty well, since I don't worry what she spends her money on as long as the bills are paid!

Over the past few months Delena has switched jobs and this responsabilities has have fallen more on me why Delena builds her paycheck back up, but we are doing well and so far no major bumps. I remember our honeymoon was different. In my family my dad always pays for everything on the trip, in her family her mom runs the cash! So when were counting our wedding money and getting ready to go San Fransisco, I said lets deposit it all in my account so I can handle the money for the trip. In her mind she heard, "BenJoe, gets all the money!". The whole honeymoon she was worried about asking me for money or what we could buy. When we got home we discussed it and she realized I just wanted to be the man on the trip, that was all. You can never communicate too much about finances.

Many of married friends also struggle with this issue. They are used to buying what ever they want when they want. Credit Cards come with this as well and before you know it you are in debt. I was talking to a friend just yesterday and she was bugged her husband spent money on the most stupidest things in the world, but then she buys 5 pairs of the same jeans and her husband thinks those are stupid.

Communication is the key, I have included with this post two articles I found about finances. They are a little preachy, but I like what it says.

Setting Realistic Financial Goals

Husband and Wive: Big Dreams on a Small Budget

I am interested to hear more of your peoples Ideas.


Melissa said...

Josh and I struggled big with this. We just made it a priority that we both be involved in how our money was spent. We put all of our money in one account. We both sat down when it was time to pay the bills and we both saw where the money was going. We had many arguments at first b/c there would be a purchase on the credit card that he didn't know about...or vise versa. We now have an agreement that we ask permission(really just to let them know) on certain items. I know this won't work for a lot of people they feel they are giving up their independence....but this works for us. There is no his money, my money! Benjoe,What happens when she stays home to raise the children where will her identity be if she is used to having her own money? I struggled with this and I recommend discussing that before the babies come along. This is such a tough issue and everyone has an opinion on it I'm sure. Good for you for being aware of it so early in your marriage. Communication is key!

BenJoe said...


I think you bring up some fantastic points. Delena and I have already started discussing them. Right now we are experiencing a little of that, she changed jobs from a high paying one to no cash at all and has had to ask me to pay all her bills and pay for her. It has been so hard for her and myself, but we are surviving. Thanks for the advice, we will keep trucking.

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